Awakening requires continual dedication, but it can lead the way to a spiritual life even while having a career and raising a family.
I always thought a lot about spirituality, although I did not grow up in a religious household or regularly attend a church. I admired those who devoted themselves to their beliefs. The praying nun, the meditating monk, and all those who cloistered themselves in silence to hear the divine. I felt they had access to a mystery that was out of reach for me. A mystery I could never learn about or be a part of.
I felt there had to be another path to divine wisdom. Another way to access the esoteric mysteries that held the Truth. One that would not require giving up my entire mundane life and moving into an ashram. In mid-life, this curiosity led me down the path of awakening. I became involved in a Wiccan community, where I took part in inclusive and dynamic spiritual events, classes, and ceremonies. It suited me well. Through these things I was awakening, although I didn’t know it.
Awakening is unique to all who experience it, yet I notice a pattern. The process starts with the rejection of a long-held belief and embracing the potential of all other possibilities. It can come as a sudden realization or a gradual disillusionment. It can shatter one’s world or create the first steps on a long journey of change.
But no matter how it manifests in one’s life, awakening is a quest to seek the Truth.
Whether awakening starts as an “ah-ha” moment or a long discovery, it gets complicated from there. Awakening is a peek behind the veil of illusion. But for those who are not ready for it, untrained in self-awareness techniques, or have unexplored trauma, this can cause chaos and even more illusion. If you awaken without being aware of yourself, it can make your fear, paranoia, depression, or low self-esteem worse.
I had one teacher state it something like this, “when the third eye opens it activates our fears and phobias and our psychic senses.”
Our third eye represents the energy center of awakening, which reveals that which was previously hidden from us. It is the portal to our intuition. It is also the seat of fear. To get to the Truth that was being revealed, I had to address my fears and phobias. That was a very slow process.
Fear has a lot of flavors, hides behind so many assumptions, and manifests in unconscious ways. Fear can grip my heart with a strangling emotion of dread, disguise itself as guilt, it can be judgmental or even self-righteous. Fear manifests in ways that can still surprise me. Most of my fears, and I believe most fears of others, center on our perception of how others see us. The fear of being seen as less-than, not good enough or not fitting in is strong in our world. It motivates our drive for status, money, success, and beauty.
After reflecting on these things, I realized I needed to release the fear of people thinking negatively about me and work towards being unaffected by the perceptions of others. The only way to be authentically me was to let go of the need to please, appease, and garner favor from others. That has taken a great deal of time. The programming ran deep into my childhood and birth culture. It took a lot of time, energy, and fortitude to deprogram what I was born into.
It is a huge process to do this, yet without addressing my fears I would only know partial truths or even misinterpret what I was getting intuitively. Not being able to trust my intuition or my inner wisdom would block any progress I may make on my path of Truth. Accessing my spiritual purpose is reliant on trusting myself. If my fears were making me see things differently and making it hard to trust myself, then why bother continuing? I had to be courageous and face the fears that hid in the deepest recesses of my consciousness. Fear is not as obvious as what we feel when we are in a dangerous situation. Most fears are as quiet as a pin drop, and we must be sensitive to each fluctuation in our thoughts, moods, and energy to notice them.
Pay attention! That is the best spiritual advice I can give anyone. Watch your thoughts and your feelings. See how they influence you. Then ask yourself why you are having those thoughts and feelings. Do it again and again. Do it in meditation, as you are on a peaceful drive, as you bathe, as you live your life in the quiet moments of being. You do not need a special meditation technique to access what hides in the mind. You only need to pay attention to what comes up for you and examine it in a quiet state of mind. Ask yourself why you have that thought or feeling and then be mindful of how it influences you or causes you fear.
This is true self-awareness.
I have grown in extraordinary ways and seen unimaginable things. I walk a path of unprecedented experiences and have access to the deepest wisdom behind the veil of illusion, all because of this practice. It did not come easy. But the more difficulties that came up through this process, the more tools I learned to address them. Each fear I face and every demonstration of trust helps me build the path to take the next step. There is no spiritual path already laid out ahead of me. I must build it with the trust I have in myself.
Awakening may happen in a moment, but it takes discipline, courage, and fortitude to be awakened for a lifetime. Without self-awareness, awakening can become delusional, paranoid, and chaotic. We are seeing a wave of people say they are part of the Great Awakening only to espouse beliefs that cater to fear, such as conspiracy theories. This is not to disparage them but to use that experience as an example. I have no doubt they have awakened, but they have not faced their fears. The fear of the ‘other,’ the fear of not belonging, the fear they are powerless, and so on. Conspiracy theories help us feel validated in our fears and give us meaning behind our feelings of victimhood. This allows us to keep our sense of powerlessness and relinquish control over our belief system and consciousness. This is the antithesis of what awakening sets out to do for us.
In ancient times, the master of any supplicant who had not dealt with their fears did not reveal esoteric practices. Therefore, the process of the master who teaches the acolyte took years of long apprenticeships to ensure they were ready. You can see the great wisdom and reasoning behind this practice. You can see why it takes monks years of discipline to become enlightened, and a hermit may spend their life in solitude to get the connection to divinity they seek.
Awakening is just the beginning. After awakening, the genuine work of the spiritual path begins.
Most of us don’t have religious structures or ancient traditions to help us. We cannot find a master to sweep for. Living in a monastery is not possible. Becoming a hermit is not practical. Relying solely on a tradition to support your awakening is risky because many masters lack integrity, and religious leaders can be corrupt.
We only have ourselves and slivers of moments between caring for others, doing for our boss, maintaining a household, or working in our careers. But in truth, we can use these slivers to support our spiritual path simply by paying attention.
Make it your habit to notice what is going on with you. Be curious about every change of thought or feeling. Ask to know more from yourself and your awakening will not only continue, but it will create a pathway of wonders.
Janet Kadow is a spiritual teacher, writer, and psychic who helps people embrace their natural gifts and live spiritually.
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Janet Kadow 