Why the bond endures, how grief distorts perception, and when the mind finally stabilizes enough to hear the dead clearly.
Mediumship appears mysterious from the outside, but when you had a genuine bond with someone in life, the communication after death is strikingly simple. The relationship does not end when the body stops. The continuity remains intact because connection is not a biological function. It is an energetic one. What makes post-death communication difficult is not the soul on the other side, but the human being left behind. Grief distorts perception. Pain destabilizes inner clarity. Doubt undermines natural sensitivity. These distortions make it appear that the presence of the departed is faint or uncertain, even when it is not.
The connection you had in life does not sever in death. What dissolves is the emotional residue, not the relationship.
After death, the emotional debris of the relationship falls away. The soul sheds the psychological scars, old patterns, and unresolved tensions that defined human interaction. What remains is the core bond, undistorted. Therefore, communication from someone you loved can feel pure, direct, and calm. The turbulence that existed in life is gone. The challenge lies not in reaching them, but in reaching them without the interference of your own grief.
For this reason, I advise people to wait approximately one year before attempting deliberate communication. This is not a mystical rule. It is psychological and neurological reality. Human consciousness needs time to stabilize after a loss, especially a meaningful one. When the memory of the person brings warmth instead of collapse, gratitude instead of regret, and openness instead of desperation, the emotional field becomes conducive to genuine perception.
Clarity arrives when the heart can remember without breaking.
A year is the approximate time required for all levels of human consciousness to metabolize loss when the relationship was healthy and the death was not traumatic. This is not rigid doctrine. It is a practical threshold. Evaluate yourself honestly. What remains unresolved? Where does the grief still sit? Your internal state becomes the filter—clear or distorted—through which the communication must pass.
To understand why timing matters, you need to recognize that grief does not move through the mind alone. It moves through four major layers of consciousness, each with its own pace and function.
The mental level reacts first. It attempts to interpret the loss, assign meaning, and replay regrets. When rumination slows, and the mind stops trying to re-negotiate something that can no longer be changed, mental healing begins.
The emotional level processes differently. It carries the raw ache. It notices what pierces the heart. It reacts to anniversaries, photographs, and unexpected triggers. Emotional equilibrium returns only when you can feel the loss without drowning in it.
The soul level works silently. It does not grieve in the emotional sense. It absorbs, records, and stores the experience for future integration. The soul distills the event into wisdom, but it cannot reveal that wisdom while the mind and emotions are still in shock.
The physical level is the slowest and most primitive. The body often behaves as if the person is still alive. You may think you see them in crowds, reach for your phone to call them, or momentarily forget they are gone. This is not denial. It is biology. The nervous system does not update instantly. It learns slowly through repetition, much like a child encountering death for the first time.
When a loved one has been ill for a long period, anticipatory grief begins before the crossing. This shifts the timeline. The person who is dying takes part in this preparatory mourning unconsciously at the soul level, helping their loved ones adjust. When death finally comes, relief is common. Relief is not cruelty. It is compassion’s reflex when suffering ends.
Death itself is a sacred moment because the soul transitions into a state of expanded awareness beyond pain, fear, and regret. From this elevated state, their communication becomes concise, loving, and free of human confusion. They see life with a clarity the living rarely access.
The dead speak from a place beyond sorrow. Their simplicity is not emptiness but the purity of an unburdened consciousness.
It is important to acknowledge a distinction that many mediumship teachings overlook. Communicating with someone you loved is fundamentally different from reaching someone you did not know. With a loved one, the bond already exists. You are not creating a connection. You are reactivating it. This makes the process easier, provided grief has settled.
Connecting with someone you never met requires a unique skill set. You must build rapport without a shared history, tune perception without emotional cues, and validate information without relational memory. You can learn it, but it’s a technical practice that requires discipline, boundaries, and discernment. You cannot rely on the natural recognition that exists with someone familiar.
Mediumship is not a mystical privilege. It extends the bonds we form in life. When grief settles and the emotional field becomes steady, communication with a loved one unfolds with surprising ease. The difficulty lies in the human system, not the spiritual one. When reaching unfamiliar spirits, the process becomes more technical and requires genuine skill. By honoring the psychological and spiritual mechanisms of grief, and by recognizing the difference between natural connection and trained perception, mediumship becomes not only accessible but grounded, ethical, and deeply human.
If you would like to learn more about Mediumship please join our class starting Monday, December 1, online at 5:30pm PT. All the information is here: https://janetkadow.com/the-art-of-mediumship/
About the Author
Janet Kadow is a spiritual teacher, writer and psychic who transforms through the gifts from Spirit. LIVEstreams on www.youtube.com/@JanetKadow. More at janetkadow.com. Socials @janetkadow. Substack: janet.substack.com. Contact: text and voice 619.866.4405. Email janet@janetkadow.com.
Janet Kadow 